Friday, 30 November 2018

"Two of my cousins raped me when I was a child, and ever since, I have never been the same."

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Hello #BetaGirls I want to share my own story.

I grew up with my grand-parents in the village till I was about 8years then I moved to Yaoundé.We had several male cousins Who Will come and live with us to go to school and do various things.

I can't even remember my age then but I do remember how one of those my cousins will call me into the room, frighten me and tell me to lie down on his bed. He will finger me and touch me(don't even know what he was touching)and after that tell me that if I did not want my granddad to beat me for going to play in the neighbour's house I should not say anything.

In my naive state, I will keep quiet. I was scared of him, that's why I always went out to play but he still managed to always get me.

He left, and I was very happy the nightmare was over. Then there came another one😭. Looking very innocent I used to always play with him.

One day, I went out to follow the village Masquerade and I returned late. I was scared I was going to be woefully flogged that night so I just went straight to his room to ask if he could help beg on my behalf. I think I was 7 by then. He rather asked me to undress, climb on the bed and open my legs wide. I did, what choice did I have?

He tried penetrating that day but couldnt. Days later, he eventually succeeded and that's how he kept on abusing me till I left the village for Yaoundé.

It's not easy writing of all this. I was so traumatised and depressed, I decided to write it in a book which I later tore. I've never been able to actually speak about this to anybody. My mum got to know half of the story with some of my female cousins, and all they did was castigate me so it gave me no anxiety to tell them everything.

These two men destroyed my  life and childhood, and till date it may seem like I've overcome it but I doubt if I can really overcome it completely.

My advice to upcoming parents, never be a scarecrow to your kids. It will only distant you from them and not discipline them in anyway.

To girls, I might not have had the opportunity early enough to tell someone all what I was going through but please don't keep quiet. Find someone & denounce these rapists.

PS: Picture above us a model, for demonstration. It is not the rapist.
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