Saturday, 20 May 2017

"If you love your man for the roses, be willing to stick by his thorns as well"

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As I reminisced on my past relationships, I would wonder why NONE of them worked out -- FIRST and most importantly is because none of them were from God. 
But as I thought deeper and looked at my actions in these relationships, I picked up a pattern -- I loved the relationships for the ROSES (the good times, fun times, laughing uncontrollably, the butterflies in the stomach, the excitement when I would see a text from him, the hand holding, the cuddles).
But as soon as things got tough (thorns), I BAILED. One argument, one disagreement, some tension, I disappeared faster than he could blink. 
I was so obsessed with the "roses" that when some thorns came, I didn't want to deal with them because I didn't LIKE that side of a relationship. 
I only wanted the roses and THAT'S IT. 
What I know now is, roses come with thorns (relationships are going to have hardships) but as life-partners and companions we must work TOGETHER to deal with the issue, become great at problem solving as a team. 
It's not about "who is right", the moment your relationship becomes competitive (I'm right, you're wrong), you've destroyed your healthy foundation and it's not going to bear any fruit cos it's become selfish. 
Colossians 3:13 - "Make allowance for each other's faults"meaning - be patient, extend grace. 
Funny how we give ourselves the grace when WE mess up, but when someone else messes up, where's the grace? 
Learn each other -- I watch my parents, my dad doesn't do well in the heat of the moment, he gets more fired up where as my mum is great in those situations because she can stay calm, so because she knows how my dad sets off, she leaves him alone, gives him time to cool down, collect his thoughts and then she re-approaches him at a later time. 
LEARN YOUR PARTNER. Become great "problem solvers", work WITH the thorns, stay prayerful and both striving to keep Christ as the center. Be blessed. 
Ephesians 4:2 - "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."

Written by Jessica Hermez
Instagram: @theworthywoman
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